The Professional Writer

21 Sep

So I’ve started my Masters Degree, and as you can expect, the first day mostly revolved around introductions and team-building.

This afternoon, we did a small writing exercise not dissimilar to one we did on the open day way back in February.
Back then, the exercise revolved around writing down four words that would form characters, then we would have to write about said characters at a garden party at Buckingham palace.
Unfortunately, I misplaced the stories I wrote, despite wanting to post them on here. All I can tell you is that I won a Wispa Gold for my efforts. Top of the class. Go me.

Anyway, today we did a similar thing: four words, and a story to follow. This time, they didn’t form characters; they just had to be passed around the class and put into the stories, which we would have to scribble down continuously for five minutes.

They’re not quite the Gold standard stories that I wrote back in February, but I thought I’d record them here anyway. The words I had to pick out of the bag and the stories that they lead to are as follows.

Words: Woman, Random, Moss & (I can’t remember the last word. It was either ‘fade’, ‘draped’ or ‘infuriating’ I think)

Story #1:
‘Her dress sense is so random’, I thought to myself. ‘Like really, just out there. She may be the most fabulous person I’ve ever seen’.
The next day, she was still on my mind. I just couldn’t get her out of my head. By the evening she had started to fade away, only for her to appear before me once more.
‘She must work in the building’, I concluded. Maybe I could find out where and get to know her.
But just as she had come into my life, she disappeared again. I obsessed over her every second I could not gaze upon her. It was infuriating.
I had to find her once more. I was compelled to express how in awe I was of her fashion sense.

In time, John, my co-worker, noticed my continuing absence of mind.
“You alright mate? What’s bothering you?” he asked.
“The woman”, I replied, “the woman draped in moss”.

Words: Sun, Sunshine, Chicken & Carpet

Story #2:
The sunshine blazed down upon me with an intensity matched by nothing I had ever experienced in my lifetime.
‘Why must the sun burn so brightly?’ I wondered. ‘On top of all the things we as human beings must deal with in our lifetime, why must the fury of the sun be one of them?
Why could I not lead a simpler life, one of a lesser animal? A chicken, perhaps. A bold and reckless chicken, living amongst a carpet of gloriously green grass with as much seed as I could gorge myself on.
What a life that would be. My biggest worries in life would be the occassional plopping out of eggs and my eventual decapitation as I was prepared for a bountiful feast.
But that would be fine, for I and I alone would know why the chicken crossed the road’.

As you can see, I started to lose the plot on the second one. We’ll see how this year goes.

Also, if you’re so inclined, the Professional Writing MA students are writing a radio show to broadcast this Friday on Source FM around 3.30 pm. Tune in to see what the rest of my week is leading to.

I have to say I’m glad I’m actually doing something with my life now other than complaining about hair-dressers, because the most constructive thing I’ve done in the past month (getting a job doesn’t count; making people sandwiches isn’t something I feel like bragging about) is this following picture inspired by Kanye’s announcement that he’s going to run for President in 2020. Enjoy.


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Posted by on September 21, 2015 in Life


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